Reflection (Gone)
by Skeironz
Summary: Nico is left thinking about everything that's happened to him and must come to terms with some things. However, some things are just too much to handle. Takes place during House of Hades. Contains some spoilers!


Nico couldn't do it anymore.

He was sitting in Percy's cabin, thinking, as the others running night crew ran around above deck. The ship swayed as vicious wind spirits battered them from all sides. The satyr, Coach Hedge, could be heard yelling Grecian obscenities at monsters who tried to get in his way. Nico could hear the whistle of Celestial bronze and the shrieks of monsters being sent back to Tartarus. Obviously, Gaea's forces didn't seem to care that a couple of demigods were trying to sleep down in the hull of the _Argo II_.

However, it's not like Nico even cared; it's not like he'd been able to sleep since his sister, Bianca, had died. How long ago was that? Almost three years ago? It seemed like a memory far off now, like one of the memories from before the Lotus Hotel. Bianca was a ghost from his past, one of the many he couldn't let go. Nico couldn't seem to let anything go.

Nico remembered when Bianca had told him that his hubris, his fatal flaw- like all other children of Hades- was holding grudges. She had told him to forgive Percy the night he had summoned her spirit, that it wasn't his fault she had died. Looking back on that night, Nico realized that Bianca had been right. It wasn't Percy's fault that she had died. She had chosen her own fate- all because she wanted to give a figurine of their dad to her brother.

All of the sudden, Nico wished it was quiet. He pushed the heels of his palms into his eyes. Living things were too _loud. _At least when he was with the dead he didn't have to worry about anything. What did dead things even have to worry about? Paying taxes to Hades for their wonderful accommodations in the afterlife? Yeah, right.

As a rather big explosion rocked Nico from his position on the bed, he caught a glimpse around the room. It was a simple cabin you'd see on any other magical ship. There was a bed, a wardrobe, a desk. There was a small porthole so one could look out onto the rocky European landscape. Otherwise, not much else marked the room as anything special.

When Leo had built the ship, he hadn't planned on anymore than the seven demigods and the satyr to come along. This left Nico without sleeping quarters when he joined the crew after they had rescued him. Nico didn't care, however. He preferred sitting up in the crow's nest, away from everybody. The others were scared of him, and he knew it. That's what happened when you were a child of Hades.

When Percy and Annabeth had fallen into Tartarus, however, Nico was offered Percy's cabin. It was a gesture made in friendly intentions, but Nico had declined. He didn't want anything to do with Percy, _especially _after having visited Cupid. All he wanted to do was get the two demigods out of the literal living nightmare that was Tartarus alive and defeat Gaea once and for all.

Gods, Nico hoped they were okay.

The Fates had never treated Nico fairly. First, they took his mother. Next, they took his old life from him. Then, they decided to take his sister, leaving him alone, and now they had taken his _pride. _The Fates were cruel, and seemed to enjoy his suffering. How ironic and hilarious could one get? A child of Hades was the one to suffer rather than the one bringing suffering upon others. Dear Muses, how hilarious was that! Nico could just see the old hags cackling with glee as they snipped string after string of life.

Reflecting back on what had happened recently, Nico almost couldn't stomach it. Jason had promised not to tell anybody else about Nico's secret, but after being betrayed (and humiliated) so much, Nico could hardly trust him. The son of Jupiter was a guy of character, though. He was a natural leader who cared about the well-being of his teammates. Heck, he was the only one who attempted to talk to Nico besides Hazel. He was courageous, maybe even stupid, enough to say something to Nico about it, telling him that no one would judge him. Jason still saw Nico as the boy who stayed away from the living, who felt more at home among the dead. Nico was the boy that knew what he was doing, even if he was a bit mysterious and isolated. Nico was still the good old Nico he had already known in his eyes.

All of that didn't matter, though. Once this was all over- when they defeated Gaea and the giants and the Romans and Greeks finally came to terms of peace with one another- Nico was leaving. He never wanted to see Percy or Annabeth or Jason or Camp Half-Blood or Camp Jupiter ever again. He didn't belong there. He was best off alone or with the dead, who accepted him without judgment. Despite all this, Nico couldn't stand the idea of losing a sister again. Hazel was just too important. He had just gotten used to being around someone living who loved him. She knew the pain of being from an earlier period in time. She knew the pain of being a cursed child of the god of death and the underworld.

Nico released a sigh. Everything seemed to have read his mind and decided to respect his wishes. Up above, it was all quiet, and not a sound could be heard besides the breeze flowing past them. It seemed like Gaea's forces had decided to let the demigods rest for a bit. Maybe they wanted to give them a few moments of silence before they tried to bring the demigods death upon them again.

Someone knocked on the door. Nico remained silent.

"Nico, I know you're in there." Pause. "I didn't want to bother you, but we could use some help above deck. Things aren't looking too bright." Nico sighed and got up. He glided silently to the door like a ghost, not making a sound. It was as if his body was made of mist. Nico opened the door enough to reveal his face. Jason was standing in front of the door, his hand held up in the middle of another knock, looking disheveled. His blond hair looked as if he had just gotten out of bed, but Nico knew that wasn't the case.

"Uh, hey, we thought that the monsters were going to give us a little break, but it turns out they were just gathering more forces, and we could really use some help so-"

Nico nodded, shouldering his way around Jason, and started walking down the hall. He placed his hand on his Stygian iron sword, finding solace in the metal of the underworld. All of the sudden, Nico could feel the emptiness of the room behind the closed door that led to Percy's room. It was a vacuum of space now, once filled with emotions that Nico once knew he had. However, they were gone now, and Nico knew all he could do was move forward. And he was going to do that just like he had always done.

He was going to run away. He was going to run away the first chance he got, no matter what the cost. No one was going to see him ever again once this was all over with. He was going to become a shadow, a fleeting memory in everyone's life. He'd become just another vague demigod legend that people talked about during late nights amongst both the Roman and Greek campers.

But at least he'd finally be free.


End file.
